Mr. Baker Did a Bad Thing
The much anticipated Iraq Study Group report was released on December 6, 2006. In his petulance and omnipotence, he wished it into the cornfield, muttering "Mr. Baker did a bad thing." And then Mr. Baker disappeared, and it was thought that he too had been wished into the cornfield, from which no one had ever returned. The adults in Washington, D.C. agreed that it was a good thing Mr. Baker and his report had been disappeared. They concentrated their minds as much as possible on opaque, happy thoughts, lest they too be wished into the cornfield. He didn't like unhappy thoughts. It was a good life, after all, and things could not be better or happier in Iraq. The cornfield awaits anyone who would say, or think, otherwise.